catching up

so yes, my commitment to writing has apparently dropped off a bit since late July. More importantly I suppose my time for writing has dropped off. I was away for all of August and fully intended to chronicle my travels, but somehow this never materialized. I have spent much of my time since reworking my schedule and activities. While the places I visited in August were wonderful, an additional benefit to the time away was the chance to reassess. I was able to consider what I have done in the last year and how I want to spend the next. Deciding to change and actually changing however are two very different things.

I realized I wanted to add some more variety to my schedule- because unfortunately being at the Musicians without Borders office 5 days a week was and is not fulfilling. Deciding to seek out other activities is one thing though and successfully adding them to your schedule is another. Especially in a place where nothing ever happens on time or goes according to plan. So much of the entire month of September was spent chasing down leads, and determining what fit. So I began to work for a women's rights organization called "Žene ženama" which I enjoy a lot. Unfortunately, just as I'm beginning to establish a routine dividing my time between 2 places, things are really picking up at MwB. This is because we have a concert tour in less than 3 weeks. So my work with the women is on hold until after that, because Musicians is of course my first priority.

Inevitably one compares the different places they work, and as an international working for and with Bosnians, you also begin to compare with other non-natives. There are quite a few parallels which emerge, all of them frustrating in their various forms. Differences in cultural working styles is something anyone seeking employment overseas is told to anticipate- but knowing they are there is different from understanding or accepting them. Lately I have been frustrated again and again by my experiences here. However, seeing as "The Way Things are Here" is a favorite subject among internationals, I am by no means alone in my frustration. This subject is actually derived from the fact that when one asks questions of locals the fatalistic, often-apathetic answer often is, "Well that's just the way it is here."

I will be coming home in mid-December for a break before beginning my second year here. It is a break which is coming at a crucial moment and one which I hope will give me the insight and clarity I need to go on for another year.