on non-violence and war criminals

Time races on and July is almost at an end. My best intentions to write about the conference I participated in late June have of course been pushed aside again and again. A week from now I will be in Belgrade, beginning a series of adventures that will last almost a full month. For now though it is just a chilly gray day in Sarajevo and I have been afforded some time to sit, and write and think.

It is actually a free day in the middle of an intensive week-long course I am taking here in Sarajevo on Peace Activism and Non-violence. All participants are residents of the countries of the former Yugoslavia- and only 4 of us are temporarily so, the rest are citizens of the region. We are divided into three sections, each with a different topic, led by a different instructor. I am in the only English section entitled "What can we learn from Peace Movements? Lessons of the Past for the Present and Future" led by the wonderful Brian Phillips. We still have three more days of class and I wish we had more.

First off, Brian is one of those brilliant people that is capable of teaching in a way that makes you want to leap out of your chair and get involved in whatever it is that he is talking about. He has also proved to be an excellent mediator of conversation- encouraging some and shushing others when needed (and in the Balkans, discussion often requires shushing since most prefer shouting). Yesterday he ended class by telling a story about a time he was at a meeting of peace activists in Finland. The man speaking was a bit frustrated and saying that the Finnish government was not taking them seriously. He grumpily declared, "They just think we're all a bunch of gay hippies!" which was then followed by a long pregnant silence, which is apparently characteristic to the Finnish way of speech. Brian's friend who was sitting next to him, turned to him and said with gravity, "But Brian. You are a gay hippie." Brian found the entire scenario highly entertaining and chose to share it with us in recognition of how people are stereotyped, labeled, etc.- for better or for worse.

Beyond Brian, there is the course content itself which is completely amazing. We began with the lives and work of Gandhi and MLK, Jr. Yesterday we discussed subsequent peace movements/activists in the States including the work of Dorothy Day, the Catonsville 9, and others throughout the 20th century. If you have not seen the documentary The Good War and Those who Refused to Fight It I would recommend getting your hands on a copy immediately. Does anyone know if it's in the church library? It definitely should be- there's a CoB shout out. We've also watched the 1982 biography of Gandhi and have read some amazing stories of present day activists in the UK, Palestine and Israel, and Columbia. In short, the people, ideas and methods we are learning about are so beautiful and truly have me captivated.

The final element of the course which I am particularly appreciative of are my classmates. I am almost certain I am the youngest member of the course, and one of four who is not originally from the region. While most of the people surrounding me bring rich experiences to contribute to class discussions, I come primarily with an open mind to learn from what they have to share. Stories from the war, stories from various non-violent campaigns and marches, research they have done, criticism and anger they have encountered- their tales range from frightening to inspiring, heart-breaking to hopeful.

Coinciding quite symbolically with our week of discussions on peace building, the Bosnian Serb war criminal Radovan Karadzic was arrested on Monday night, after almost 13 years in hiding. His capture is a crucial step towards (the chance for) reconciliation in the region. Reactions among our group are mixed and for many here in Sarajevo emotions are running high. I thought the words of one woman, Snezena, were quite poignant. She said, "I can not be happy about this, I did not feel a sudden burst of joy. It is like I have been sitting watching someone die for the last 13 years and now he has finally died. I have spend all my emotions, and now I am numb. I can feel relief, but I do not feel happy." Many are expressing apprehension over what is to come next- will Karadzic's trial be constructive? What new pain will be exposed or old pain unearthed?

For now, no one has the answers to these questions. And even within our group of 17 gathered together based on a shared interest in peace activism, the variation of opinion and the vehemence with which feelings were expressed were great. Even with Karadzic in hand, there are still no easy answers here.


One of my very good Bosnian-American friends is about to go back to the states after being here in Sarajevo for the past year conducting research. She is a passionate and intelligent woman, whose friendship I value greatly. Her immediate family was able Bosnia at the start of the war when she was still quite young although she still has relatives here. I am always shocked by the amount of anger she shows regarding any subject connected to Serbs or the war. It seems disproportionate to me when I consider the more tempered attitudes expressed by other Bosnians who were either present in Sarajevo during the siege or experienced direct violence during that time. While most may not be ready to embrace Serb nationalists or former members of the JNA, they recognize that there is much they must accept and forgive so healing may ultimately occur. As the two of us discussed Karadzic's arrest and the actions of the Serb government, much of what I heard her say still seemed to be only language of hate. I am not a confrontational person- and here where I am an outsider in all recent events I am loathe to pass judgement on how a person should act or feel. I only managed to casually ask if she had perhaps seen the film of Gandhi's life, in a vague attempt to steer the conversation in a more accepting direction. She responded that, not only had she seen the film, her professors in college had allowed her make-up some of her own Peace Studies courses where she had read extensively about the lives and beliefs of Gandhi and King. I was floored. As an intelligent woman (who is now seeking her PhD), she had studied these ideas after expressing an explicit interest in them and then completely and utterly missed the entire point.

vruće mi je

I wish I could come up with something more creative for my title, but what I have written is Bosnian (Serbian, Croatian, Macedonian, and Montenegran...) for "It is hot!" Right now I am sitting in my office and this is about all I can think about. If I were sitting at home it would be about the same. I'm not sure if I remember what it is like to NOT be sweating. Sometimes it is a little nicer at night but my loft with its 2 little skylights doesn't allow for so much fresh air to enter. The heat seems to have pushed everyone to new levels of laziness here- myself included. I attended an amazing conference last week but am struggling to return to any form of productivity here at my office. But anyway- better to write about things besides the heat in an attempt to distract myself.

I had planned to write a detailed account of my travels in the Netherlands, although now time has gotten away from me an the memories are not as fresh. So a few anecdotes and reflections can suffice.

What will always stand out about the trip was the house we stayed in. It was absolutely gorgeous- and absolutely massive. About 20 of us were accomodated there very comfortably- the use of the house (or I suppose I should say estate) was donated by a man who has had it in his family for many generations and grew up there himself. There was a mini forest out back, a soccer field on one side, horse pastures out front, and a pond... a sun porch where we could bask each morning while drinking coffee... enough space in the dining room for all the musicians to rehearse together. We were not in Amsterdam, but in a tiny town called Heemstede which is located right next to Haarlem. The small town atmosphere was perfect though- each morning I went for a run in the surrounding neighborhoods and parks on a plethora of footpaths (running adjacent to the roads AND bicylcle paths of course). It was the closest I have been to home both physically and culturally since October. It was comforting to be in a place with such a sense of order, but also bizarre because I hadn't realized it was a feeling I missed. I got to meet Solomon who is my BVS counter-part at the MwB office in Alkmaar. It's so strange to consider how vastly different our experiences in BVS have been. A part of me felt twinges wishing I was there instead- but I know ultimately Sarajevo is the right place for me.

The concert Winds of Change performed in with the Netherlands Blazers Ensemble (the entire purpose of our trip) was so beautiful. The rehearsal the day before inspired the Bosnian musicians like nothing I have ever seen- and the concert itself was amazing. It was entitled "Balkan Wedding" and actually entailed 3 couples getting married on stage by the mayor of Amsterdam in between songs. The second couple was 2 women- an excellent experience for the Bosnians because homosexuality is still rarely accepted in the Balkans.

Meanwhile, in our group, traditional (and by that I mean western circa 1950s) gender roles still prevailed. Bosnians are not so progressive as I may have perhaps mentioned before. At the house the girls did most of the cleaning and dishwishing to keep the place nice- and any uncertainties about housekeeping were brought to me. This was in fact part of my job (keeping general order) and not so bothersome. However, I was completely floored when one day around lunch-time one of the musicians asked me to make him a sandwich. I straight-up laughed in his face and said, "American girls don't do that." The sad thing is he asked one of the female musicians to do it for him the next day- and she did. Oh well, I think all of the other males present managed to prepare food for themselves without issue.

My only major regret of the trip was the lack of time we got to spend in Amsterdam. Friday was our final day and completely free. We headed into the city supposedly to occupy oursevles but then one of the group leaders became paranoid about legal liability (despite the fact all but 2 of the musicians are over 18) and probably would have made us all sit together in one place for the entire day if he had had his way. We finally did manage to peel off into small groups, but still with strict instructions not to go anywhere alone. This was a huge disappointment for me because solitary exploration is perhaps my favorite way to experience a city... and would have been especially nice after a week of so much togetherness. But this just means I will have to return sometime.

The experience as a whole was a beautiful one- for the Bosnians to have the opportunity to travel to the Netherlands, stay in such nice accomodations, and perform in concert with a world-renowned ensemble was the experience of a lifetime. I believe it inspired them above and beyond what I was able to experience. Hopefully it has also set a precedent for future travels.

All this said I was more than happy to return to Sarajevo. Being the only non-native speaker of Bosnian in a group for a week was exhausting. I am still not at a point where I am comfortable saying anything beyond basic phrases (although I think I've progressed even since the trip) though I do understand a lot. Autonomy was also a glorious thing- going where you wanted, when you wanted by whatever means you wanted. Even though we got back late Sunday night, I went immediately to my friend Emira's to talk. What a relief.

And since then the rest of May and all of June have passed without anyone lifting a finger to request otherwise. I'm not sure where the time went really. I now share a lovely lovely apartment with a lovely lovely roommate. It is the nicest place I have gotten to live (while still costing no more than the single room I was forced to share with 2 cats in my original situation) and Bronwyn and I get along very well. We had a house-warming party the first weekend we were there together per request (er, demand) of Bronwyn's boyfriend and a Spanish EVSer (European Volunteer Service), Gerardo. It was a resounding success, complete with music, drinks, food, and conversation spanning such essential topics as Eurosong and proper lime-cutting technique.

June also held a visit to Mostar and the Croatian coast. I travelled first to Mostar by train and spent a few days there with Katie who I hadn't seen since the beginning of March. In the time that elapsed in between, she has learned to speak Bosnian/Croatian extremely well. I am extremely jealous, but also recognize her success is proportiate to the hard work she has put into it. I must motivate myself to follow her example. While I was with her a short film festival was taking place at Abrašević (her BVS placement) and so we were able to help out some with general organizing as well as food preparation for the pariticipants. There were people from all over- including French, Germans, Croatians, and Serbians. It was great to talk to people and learn their stories. The films were great too- some funny, some confusing, some educational, some heart-breaking. We also helped Katie's neighbor with a mini art workshop for children she was leading at a local shopping center.

Come Friday, my friends Alex and Margit arrived in Mostar from Sarajevo and we continued the rest of the way to the coast in Alex's mini-van (which he brought from the U.S. and has also been of service in Malawi). We arrived in Split just in time for the Croatia/Turkey game in the EuroCup quarter finals. The excitement was palpable; we were quickly swept up by it as well. One Croatian said to us, "So you're cheering for Croatia?" we said yes, but we really didn't have much choice in the matter. He laughingly agreed, saying, "Yes, its either that or the hospital." Yes, not much choice indeed...

Sadly, the game ended in defeat for our hosts after double overtime and a shoot-out. While this put a damper on the general atmosphere, I was secretly hoping for a Turkish victory so I wasn't too dissappointed. I think this outcome was probably better for Mostar as well, where riot police had been set from Sarajevo to stand watch over the East/West boundary of the town. The East (Muslim) side was staunchly behind Turkey, while the West side is Croatian. No one was going to be able to cross from one side to the other once the game started. I think the feelings on the East/Muslim/Turkey-supporting side were running slightly less high than those on the opposite bank and they were probably less destructive victors. Of course, the West-siders might have been perfectly gracious had victory been theirs as well- but I suspect otherwise.

Our Saturday adventure on the coast included a ferry ride to the island of Brač, and a drive to it's nicest beach- Zlatni Rat. We stayed in the water as long as we possibly could... it was amazing. Turqoise water, pebbly beach, mountains behind us, sailboats and kite-surfers around us. Truly an amazing experience. I would go back in a heart-beat. When we finally peeled oursevles off our towels we had that lazy content tiredness that stems from a great day in the sun... we got some food at a nearby restaurant and sauntered back to the mini-van and then to the ferry. Back in Split we took advantage of the cool evening air to explore the ruins of Diocletian's Palace which compose the core of the old town. Darkness made it all feel mysterious and exciting- like we were discovering secret passages as opposed to paths frequented daily by tourists. Our adventure, capped off with some gelato, was the perfect end to the day.

Sunday held the drive home, but peppered with some excellent breaks along the way. We visited another beach as we drove back down the coast, and the town of Makarska for a last seafood lunch. We also had stops for coastline photo-ops and the purchasing of figs from a road-side stand. Once again though, I was grateful to return home from travel.

My final June adventure was a conference I attended last week here in Sarajevo. It was a last minute surprise that I found out about through our office in the Netherlands. However, after sending emails to them and to Belgium confirming my participation, I found out the co-organizer of the conference was none other than SEE-YN (South East Europe Youth Network) which occupies the office next door to MwB. So it's quite a small world and yet it seems you must often go on the longest, most complicated routes to end up hanging out with your neighbors. But I will write more about this adventure another time (but hopefully within the week rather than a month from now) because it is the 4th of July and I have been offered the opportunity to celebrate! That said, I would still appreciate it if you would enjoy some fireworks and crabs for me today!