excerpt from previous e-mail: the American Embassy is Evil

I went to the US Embassy today to register with my passport and everything. I was almost a little excited to go- in my imagination it had taken on epic proportions as a bastion of peanut butter and Starbucks coffee with country music playing in the background... ok I didn't really expect that- but at least some friendly American accents in a pretty building. WELL- I guessed wrong, instead I was first met by a massive concrete wall with no obvious entrance. After walking back and forth a couple of times and receiving suspicious glances from people behind thick glass windows, I was finally directed to the end of the fortress where security gaurds with automatic rifles curtly waved me around not 1 but 2 barriers. When I tried to enter the door I had been directed to, I was angrily told to "just wait a moment" by yet another man behind plate-glass. Then, "what are you here for?" "Um, to register...?" "Well, they're really busy right now, so just wait" so i did, without much choice in the matter- because who knows, if i did decide to leave at that moment without explanation maybe I would've been machine-gunned down right there on the street. Finally they let me in, but only for the very friendly process of scanning my passport, x-raying my bag, confiscating my hand-lotion, waterbottle, ipod and cellphone, and waving a metal detector over my entire body. It was more intense than airport security. Some welcome... I was finally allowed into a waiting area at that point and saw that what they had been "very busy" with before was putting 2 other guys through the same security check, except they were Bosnian. If I thought I had it bad, all I had to do was listen to the way they spoke to the one of them when they called him to the window. It was an intensive interrogation process, and whatever the poor guy said was a lie or wrong as far as the official was concerned. He was trying to get a work visa that he had already gotten on previous occaisions. Eventually they sent him and his friend back out to their car to get another document as further proof he wasn't a lying criminal. Meanwhile I continued to sit alone, wondering if my presence was known or not. All forms of life had disappeared from behind the windows. It was like waiting around at the MVA- a horribly warped and cracked out MVA. Bosnian-work-visa-guy reenters. I think both of us were debating whether or not to begin conversation with one another. Finally I say, "I don't even know what they're doing back there" and conversation flowed fairly easily from there. He pointed out I had it much better than he, which i agreed with and then we each explained why we were there. He was going to work for Celebrity Cruises which he had already done before and had never previously had issues with getting the visa. So apparently it all depends on what kind of mood they are in. At that point I was called to the window, strikingly not by the evil sounding interrogator that had been there before, but instead a friendly enough looking woman. I handed her my already-completed form and passport which she disappeared with for a moment and quickly returned. "Great, now you're all registered and we can contact you in case of an emergency. Which is
very important" all spoken in the tone of a 1st grade teacher, with a smile meant to reassure but based on the rest of my experience, really just creeped me out. I was shocked at how painless it had been though, with no additional questions about what I had written on the form or anything. With that I left as quickly as I could, wished the Celebrity Cruise guy luck, and reclaimed all my posessions from the security checkpoint. People actually seemed much more friendly now that I was leaving, strangely enough.

I hope to not have to go back anytime soon...